Can't even die properly

    He sat alone in the bathtub, in water the temperature between scalding the skin off your bones and perfect, contemplating his next move. "What the hell is happening to me? Maybe the world will just be better without me" . Slowly he grabs the knife, the same one he performed the protection ritual with. Ironic that, when the one thing he needed  protection from was himself. Setting the blade against his alabaster skin he pressed down, almost as if trying to cut through bone. Pressing harder onto the skin, the blade did not waiver and yet the skin did not break. "What the hell?" he thought, realizing he was indeed failing at even killing himself. Looking at the blade and running his thumb down the edge, as one is keen to do when testing sharpness, realized that he could't cut even the softest of food with the damn thing. Looking down at his arm he noticed the only damage done was a scratch that looked better than the ones the damn cats give... "I am a failure. I can't live properly and can't even fucking die properly."

Get out

"Hidden in darkness, there is no way to escape...there has to be. But how? How do I get through this never ending cycle my mind puts me through? What if there really isn't a way out? What if I am in perpetual fear for the rest of my life? I can't let that happen, I have to get out somehow..."

Excerpt from my new book

How did I get here?

Sweating profusely, I grip the steering wheel while my hands shake as if I have tremors. How did I get here? I know I walked to the car and got in obviously but how did I manage that? Thinking back, I remember walking out of the front door and immediately the fear struck. Is he waiting in the halls, watching to see my next move? Surely not. I have only been here a month or so, there was no way he tracked me that quickly. And yet... I remember thinking I must get back in the house, he must not see me. He can't! I don't want to die! Surely that is what he means to do, after all i did put him in jail. "Go back inside where it is safe, RUN!" is all I could remember. Yet here I am, driving the car whilst the kids laugh and play in the back. The only thing that comes to my mind now is "Did he see me leave?"